2.0 Round 2 Day 61: Coping With Real Life

I have been completely absent this past week and have not exercised all week either. My father in law has been in bad health for a while but at the beginning of this year he suffered several bad strokes that left him incapable of living on his own and was moved to nursing home care. 11 months later on November 3rd his suffering ended as he passed peacefully and quietly to the other side. We had been able to stay with him, by his side for several days and say good bye, and the kids were able to be there for a short while. He had long since lost his ability to speak and had become mostly comatose those last few days and before that for several months he had not been very cognitive, but on the last 2 days of his life he was able to come back a little. The old dad was there more than it had been in a long time. He recognized my husband, his only child, and myself and was even able to whisper a few words. My husband decided to bring the kids to see him since he was doing so miraculously well. He recognized the kids when they came in and something that took all the effort he had, he smiled at them. Only a few hours before his death, having not been able to do more than faintly move his fingers to squeeze our hand and mouth a few short words without sound, the very last person he smiled at was my little girl.

His grandkids have always been his joy. I know he was sad that his bad health prevented a lot of things, including doing different things with his grandchildren, but he loved them so much. It makes perfect sense that he would manage a smile for them on his last day on earth. We all treasure that moment, such a beautiful parting gift from someone you love, knowing they gave all they had left. I’m crying a little as I’m remembering it just now. He will be so missed.

So with all that’s gone on this week I was unable to do more than run back and forth between the nursing home and where the kids were staying with their Meme and then all the funeral arrangements and trips back to our home an hour away to get needed items. It has been exhausting. I did take my measurements this morning and predictably I have gained inches in my waist and love handles where my belly is growing but all my other measurements are either the same or down, and my weight is the same as day 45. So I’m confident that my habits that have been formed over this year of work have kept me in good stead. And I continue to be a little sick at the thought of junk food. Halloween candy has been no problem, in fact all those cakes and desserts at that down home country meal after the funeral were not even tempting at all, which you have to know a Pleasant Grove Baptist Church funeral pot luck. They are insanely full of delicious things that are not BBMC meal plan approved, including a vast array of delicious desserts. I have to be the only pregnant lady who doesn’t want to gobble chocolate and ice cream. I won’t complain though.

I plan to get back on track next week as my hubby returns to work and life carries on with that illusion of normalcy that comes after you lose someone you love. It can never be the same, but life marches forward. I have mountains of laundry to do and a week’s worth of house work on top of an already messy house. Looks like I’ll be staying busy.

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