Capture Your Grief Day 9: Special Place

Day 9’s subject is “Special Place” and Carly Marie had written ” Day 9. Special Place This could be a place that you visit that brings you peace. Maybe it is a place that you went to when you were pregnant or where your child’s place of rest is.”

Well, I was pregnant with Skye while living in Colorado, I spent the last month of my pregnancy and delivery in central Kentucky, her entire life was lived out in Louisville, Kentucky, she is buried in western Kentucky, and we now live just south of Nashville in Tennessee. Even if there was a place in any of these locations that had special sentiment (which there is not) I live nowhere near enough to capture a shot in any of those places.

So this one was a thinker for me.

I have to say, the most special place, the most healing, peaceful, beautiful place I have is one that I have had since just a month after Skye was buried. It is a place that I discovered by surprise, a place I struggled with at first because I felt I wasn’t nearly ready to go there. It is a place that was given to me as the most precious gift. That place is the love between me and my second baby Faith.

We conceived Christian “Faith” just weeks after we buried Skye. Please believe me and understand that I have no idea how it even happened. (I know that sounds so tongue in cheek.) My husband and I were emotionally broken, our attempts at intimacy were pitiful. How do you enter into an intimate and emotionally charged union when you are hollow and shattered? (I hope this is not too much information, but I feel my grief for my daughter has been very open and public and this is a part of my grief journey.) In addition to this was the fact that we were not trying to have another baby. We had been told that there was a high chance of Skye’s condition being genetic (I believe they told us this simply because they could not figure out what she had and they had to cover all bases.) We were actively preventing pregnancy. There are so many reasons why I should not have gotten pregnant, especially just under 2 months after giving birth to my first child.

However I did, and thank God! In retrospect I have no idea how I would have made it on this grief journey without the joy of my rainbow baby. She has truly been a little piece of sunshine here on earth for my husband and I. As I said in yesterday’s post, when October is over, I will have to write about this special story, it is filled with hope and inspiration for even the saddest heart.

So yeah, my special place is the love, and especially the physical arms of my daughter Faith.

Day 9: Special Place
This is a picture of my second baby girl from last year, but I felt it best captured the emotion I wanted to convey in today’s post. She thinks it’s me who picks her up, but she may never realize that she has always been the one to do the holding.