So, I realize it has been a while since I wrote. Believe me, not for lack of happenings! I was just remembering this morning how therapeutic it has been for me to write blog posts, so I dusted off the ol’ key board, so to speak, and here I am.
Let me see, where did I leave off? I’m not sure, especially since my life story is not written in chronological order here, but how about a few updates about my life in general these past few months?
We moved to Tennessee where Josh has opened a new restaurant where he is co-owner, it is doing great, we’re super happy about that. (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sano/256534591089142)
Skye Blue has really blossomed this year, I’ve been doing well with a new line of sculptures called “Every Tree A Soul”, (http://www.etsy.com/shop/SkyeBlue85?section_id=8161645) I’ve sold quite a few.
The biggest surprise for me is the change in medium, I never thought I would be primarily sculpting. I’m really blessed with the response and wonderful people I’ve met. I also launched a project that has been a dream of mine, an ornament donation program for families who lost a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or early childhood death. The response to that has been humbling and tender, hearing other moms who lost their babies expressing their joy and thankfulness for what I’m doing. It is a precious thing I am finding great joy in to honor my little girl, Skye. (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151009575556271&set=a.10151009575456271.479378.362725131270&type=3&theater)
I lost my dad this past March after a rather abrupt and short illness. I miss him every day. It has been hard to let it sink in that he is gone, he was always so healthy and full of spunk.
And, we are expecting our 3rd child. We are really happy and excited! Of course there is always a level of scared, but so far everything is good and healthy and we believe that by the end of December we will be holding our new Tiny Love in our arms. (I’m due December 13.) I am just beginning my second trimester, I’m 15 weeks (3 1/2 months) and we don’t yet know the gender, so I’m just calling the baby Tiny Love for now.
Having my 3rd baby is pretty mellow. Of course I was part nervous and part naive with my first, plus very stressed with opening and running the restaurant in Colorado. I was extremely nervous and stressed with Faith because of everything that happened with Skye. This time around, I feel relaxed and experienced. I have experienced the best outcome and the worst, so there is nothing I can’t be prepared for at this point. I am on a mission this time around to make the very best of my pregnancy and not just work toward a successful birth. I am eliminating stress (something that isn’t easy for this natural worry wort.) I am getting mentally and physically fit and strong and am anticipating a grand finale to my childbearing (I hope), the very best birth experience yet.
Still, there is always something new with every baby, every pregnancy. I doubt I will become bored. Even with my third I’m experiencing things for the first time, like explaining to your almost 3-year-old that there is a baby in my belly, I’m not just fat, and that she can’t knee me in the gut as she’s accustomed to. We’ve also been working on bonding. We’re making progress, at first the only response Faith had to the new family member was to scream “No!!” whenever we approached the subject. She has since graduated to kissing my belly and praying for the baby at night, although she doesn’t seem to completely grasp how this is all working. I think the turning point was my first ultra sound a few weeks ago where she saw baby sucking its thumb on the big t.v. She could relate to that and she was very concerned that the ultra sound tech not press on my belly too hard with the wand. She held my hand through that whole scan and kept reminding the ladies, “Be careful, not too hard on momma’s belly.”
Another mild surprise for me is something that probably shouldn’t surprise me at all, maybe perplex me is a better term. With every pregnancy I have grown a cup size. I know, I know, there are some of you who are saying, “Ok, what’s the problem?” Well, we women generally do grow in that area during pregnancy, but most of us shrink back after we give birth or stop nursing. I never did, not with my first 2 pregnancies. I went from C to D with Skye, and from D to DD with Faith. I started at generally the same weight (give or take 5-10 lbs.) with all three pregnancies. I now find my current undergarments becoming snug. I was voicing my concern to Josh last night, it went something like this.
“Babe, my bras are getting tight, I’m seriously worried I’m going to have to go up another cup size.”
Josh lowers the book he’s reading and gives me an impish grin. “Sounds awesome, what’s the problem?”
“No, it’s not awesome. These things just keep growing. Normal women get to have them shrink when it’s all said and done, mine just keep growing. It’s already very difficult to find a 36 DD, it’s going to be impossible to find a 36…… gosh, I don’t even know what the next size up is, its like the great beyond.”
Needless to say his ensuing laughter was not reassuring. Men, they just don’t understand.
So yes, even with a 3rd baby I have all kinds of questions. How will the above issue play out? How will it be to have a baby and a 3-year-old? Will Faith feel left out? Will I have to upgrade to a duffel bag to carry all the stuff? (Josh already monopolizes most of my purse.) Will my belly get any saggier? (I really hope not) If I have a boy there are a million more questions just for that, I’ve had so much experience with so many babies, but they were all girls. The thought of having a boy takes me way out of my element.
I think my point here is that this pregnancy, so far, has been mellow, but definitely not boring.
So, that’s pretty much what’s happening in my life right now. I’d like to keep the updates more frequent and shorter, mostly because it’s a pain to wrangle the cords to put the computer on my lap to type, and it’s a pain (literally) to type hunched over my growing belly for too long. We shall see, I guess.
Filed under: biography, life, short and sweet | Tagged: 3 year old, Art, artist, body issues, child loss, children, kids, life, mom, pregnancy, Sano, sculpture, Skye Blue, third baby, toddler | 3 Comments »